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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27276880">i watch your eyes as he walks by and you’re mesmerised</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/golden_tragedy/pseuds/golden_tragedy'>golden_tragedy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Men's Football RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cris is in love, James is in love, M/M, everyone is a mess, heather au, leo is oblivious</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:54:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,628</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27276880</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/golden_tragedy/pseuds/golden_tragedy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cris has liked Leo for a while now, and just as they’re getting out of the friends with benefits relationship, Leo goes and gets a boyfriend.</p><p>Heather by Conan Gray AU</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Rodríguez/Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi/Cristiano Ronaldo, Neymar/Lionel Messi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i watch your eyes as he walks by and you’re mesmerised</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The football pitch has always been Cris’s place. The one place where no one could bother him and he was king. Currently he was just lying on the grass, bathing in the sunlight during a rather long free period. </p><p>There’s a soft thudding and an equally soft voice just above him. </p><p>“Mind if I join?” </p><p>He cracks open his eyes, even though he’d recognise that slow, drawling voice anywhere. Leo Messi is standing there, smiling at him. </p><p>“No,” he says, his plan for trying to distance himself from Leo before he gets too invested going to shit. He’s off limits now; and any fucking around they may have done is over now. </p><p>But then Leo’s lying too close to him, and the soft material of his letterman jacket is rubbing against Cris’s arms, and even though he has his own and it’s made of the same damn material, Leo’s always felt more comfortable. </p><p>The first time he wore it was on the 3rd of December. It was after a win against their rival high school, and they went to celebrate. First to the club where they partied with the rest of the squad for a while, then snuck off to the beach to have a smoke. It was colder than Cris was expecting and his jacket was still somewhere in his locker at school. </p><p>And Leo offered him his jacket, it was a little small, but warm and Leo’s eyes were bright as they reflected the moonlight. </p><p>And then Leo kissed him while they sat on a cliff, and Cris could hardly believe it was happening. They fucked a few times, and he thought maybe it was getting to be more than that. </p><p>Then he was at a food truck with James one day, and Leo was with Neymar, pressing kisses on his cheek, and giving him his jacket and sharing fries with him. </p><p>Then Leo looked at him, and his cheeks were flushed with happiness and his eyes were bright as he walked over. James pretended to be engrossed in a phone call as he got closer, more for Cris’s sake than anything. </p><p>“Hey, uh, Cris,” Leo offered him a small smile “I had a lot of fun but um..” he looked back at Neymar “we can’t anymore.”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Cris grinned at him, wishing he could say it wasn’t, but Leo’s eyes are brighter than he’s ever seen. And he doesn’t want to ruin that. </p><p>Leo’s smile grows a little, then he turns and walks away, wrapping an arm around Neymar’s waist as they take their food and leave. He knocks James’s hand aside so he can get a fry, then bites into it a little more forcefully than is required. James looks red in the face. </p><p>“You...had a thing with Messi?” </p><p>“Not anymore,” he bites viciously into another one. </p><p>And since then he’s stayed away, it’s easier to just forget. But now Leo’s lying next to him, and he knows he should move away, but he doesn’t. They lie on the warm grass in silence, and everything is okay. </p><p>“Leo! There you are,” Neymar’s voice comes, and he laughs as he approaches their field of vision. </p><p>“Hi, Cris.”</p><p>“Hey Neymar.”</p><p>“What’s up?” Leo asks, shielding his face from the sun with a hand as he sits up</p><p>“I don’t know, Pep’s calling you.”</p><p>Pep Guardiola was their art teacher, and the entire school knew that he absolutely adored Messi. Cris personally preferred Mourinho’s math class. </p><p>“Thanks, I’ll be right there,” Leo smiles as Neymar walks away, and Cris’s heart aches as he sees the way Leo’s eyes watch him go, alight with wonder. He’s completely mesmerised, and there’s a lump in Cris’s throat as he stands up abruptly, grabs his bag and leaves. </p><p>Leo’s calling after him, but he resolutely grabs onto the straps of the bag and continues his walk back to the main building. </p><p>He spends the rest of the day with Sergio and James. He stays resolutely away from the hallways Leo tends to take, forcing James to walk the long way with him. </p><p>“Who are you hiding from?” James pants as they enter a fairly out of the way corridor. </p><p>“Nobody.” Cris grits out, rounding a corner. He slams to a stop, and James practically plows into him, but he ignores the cussing, unable to tear his eyes away from what’s in front of him. </p><p>Leo and Neymar kissing against the wall. It’s nothing too special, just a kiss, but the way his heart sinks you’d think Leo was getting on one knee. </p><p>“Let’s go,” he mutters, swallowing down the anger. No, not anger. He doesn’t know what it is, but it makes his blood boil and his heart ache and throat tighten, and it makes him wonder what he did wrong. Feels like a physical pain in his chest, because even though Leo looks so happy, it’s not with him. </p><p>But he doesn’t know why it wasn’t him. He ignores James’s concern, just storms into Mourinho’s math class, cracks open his textbook and focuses on drawing loci. But his mind strays back to that corridor, the way Neymar and Leo looked so undoubtedly perfect for each other. And that must be it right? Nothing else makes any sense. </p><p>He just wasn’t good enough, and somehow Neymar was. What did Neymar have that he didn’t? But there is nothing he can think of other than their looks and maybe that’s the problem. </p><p>And then he wonders why Leo would ever kiss him. He’s not even half as pretty. Because Neymar is pretty. And it seems, that to the person Cris cares about most, he isn’t pretty enough.  </p><p>“Cris,” James is frowning “come on, man, just talk to me. What’s wrong?” </p><p>And it’s not like he could resist the look James gave him, so he buries his face in his hands and says</p><p>“He gave him his jacket. Leo.”</p><p>“Gave who his jacket?”</p><p>“Neymar,” he mutters, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes </p><p>There’s silence.  </p><p>“It’s just polyester,” he says eventually, voice soft. </p><p>“But he likes him better, and-and I don’t- I just wish it was me, okay?” He raises his head to glare at James “there, are you happy? I’ve said it.”</p><p>James’s face falls, and he moves backward, giving Cris some space. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” he whispers </p><p>Cris sighs. </p><p>“No, I’m sorry. I just don’t understand how I manage to screw everything up.”</p><p>“You’re not screwing anything up.”</p><p>“Then why is it Neymar holding his hand and not me?”</p><p>“Because Leo is his own person, Cris, and you can’t tell him who to like!” His face softens “and at the end of the day, you follow your heart. Even though it’ll break.”</p><p>And there’s an inexplicable sadness in his eyes. </p><p>Cris puts a hand on his thigh in silent comfort as they turn back to their work. </p><p>Later Sergio is closing his locker, and Cris walks out with him. </p><p>“Are you going to be okay at Neymar’s party? Since you-you know. Hate him.”</p><p>Cris watches as Neymar laughs loudly, his eyes scrunching as he leans on a wall for support. </p><p>“I don’t hate him,”</p><p>“Could’ve fooled me,” Sergio snorts as they step out into the sunshine </p><p>“How could I? He’s a genuinely nice person.”</p><p>“But you also wish he were dead,”</p><p>Cris can’t help but look as Leo walks up to him, also smiling. </p><p>“Yes,” he breathes. </p><p>The second he gets to Neymar’s party, Cris wishes he wasn’t there at all. It’s already in full swing, Leo is drunk out of his mind, and he’d like to pretend he wasn’t clinging to James for emotional support throughout the entire party. </p><p>He sighs as he sits down on a couch, James next to him.  </p><p>“Do you want to go home? I could pretend to be really drunk so it doesn’t look weird you’re leaving early.” James offers </p><p>“No, it’s fine, thanks.”</p><p>He still puts his head on James’s shoulder. </p><p>“Everyone,” Leo clambers onto a tabletop “I have an announcement to make,”</p><p>There’s a terrible sinking feeling in the pits of his stomach. </p><p>Then Leo points drunkenly at the door. </p><p>“That’s my boyfriend!” The entire room turns to look at the door, but there’s no one there. </p><p>“I’m here, Leo,” Neymar laughs, and Leo’s face brightens </p><p>“Yes! That’s my boyfriend!” </p><p>Cris stands up and walks out. He needs to throw up. Or cry. Or punch a wall. He doesn’t know. He stands at the gate, staring at the blue fence, and he fists his hand, pulling back to punch it, because it’s not fair. </p><p>James grabs his fist, eyes wide. </p><p>“What are you doing?” He asks, </p><p>And just like that the anger leaves his body. </p><p>“I don’t know,” he whispers, falling into James “I don’t know.” </p><p>And this time it comes out choked, because he doesn’t care anymore, and he doesn’t care that he’s crying because it hurts. It fucking hurts. It hurts so badly it’s like he can’t breathe. James stands with him, hugging him for what feels like hours, and it’s him who pulls away first. </p><p>“Cris, you’re freezing, let’s go home okay?”</p><p>Cris shivers involuntarily, and James’s smile is wry as he shrugs his jacket off, throwing it over Cris’s shoulder. </p><p>“Here you go,” he kisses his cheek softly, and Cris can only stare at him, questioning. </p><p>James just smiles, wraps an arm around his waist and starts steering him away from Neymar’s house. </p><p>“Whenever you’re ready.” He says, shooting Cris a nervous sort of smile. </p><p>Cris smiles back. </p><p>It won’t happen soon. Maybe not for a long time, because the thought of Leo still makes him feel butterflies in his stomach, but maybe. </p><p>He reaches for James hand, and leans on him as they walk away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ik I said no depressing fics but here we are.<br/>I really like comments, so please lmk what you think.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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